my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
sex in a hospital.. check
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
