ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
