you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
