Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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