You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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