if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
