Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
