maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
