i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
