can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize