So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
