Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
