you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
