is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
