Jerry, you need to find god
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
