she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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