I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
