the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
