so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
