i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
