i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
