fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
