I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
