yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
