I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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