This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
