he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
