I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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