Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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