She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
