i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
