Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
