I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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