You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
