There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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