it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize