elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
