well you can't waste a boner
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
