I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
