if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
