Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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