I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I smell like Dick and happiness
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