you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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