Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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