we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
