There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
