There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize