He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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