Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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