Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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