YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
