Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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