Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
