Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
