just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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