girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize